about that one love that breaks you before it shapes you

He was like one of these books you can't let go off until you know the end of the story.

He let my mind blossom and grow like the branch of a young tree.

And i soon became dependent on the sun he showed me and the water he gave me, and found myself desperate to read every single page of his mind.

His words for me where like the cigarettes for him. 

But he was worse than nicotine.

More like a storm, a turnado carrying away everything and everyone. Like a big wave surprising you from behind. Boom.

And while i was just a little fish, he was the entire ocean.

You can see the surface but noone really knows what was still hidden in the dark depth of his waters.

Mysterious.

Magical.

And oh, so fascinating.

But i was just the little fish who got lost in the sea current.

Instead of teaching me how to swim he was drowning me, and i didn't see until my lungs were already filled with water.

To be honest, i was totally fine with him killing me. But then i thought, there might be someone out there who'd be fine with me killing him.

So I walked away.

Not too far, never out of reach. I never left. I simply walked as far as i had to go to be able to breathe again.

And he watched me from the distance, and turned his head.

And i figured maybe it was always meant to be that way.

The clocks kept ticking, and the stars kept sparkling and the birds kept waking me up every morning. But from time to time i came back to the coast to dig my feet into the warm sand and while i sat there listening to the waves that told his stories, i whispered

thank you for being my ocean. i hope one day you will find someone who can be yours